7 Helpful Tips for your Groomsmen To-Be
So your best friend is tying the knot and has asked you to be a groomsmen. Great! You know that this event is one of the most important events in his life so it has to be perfect. The problem is...you’re clueless about the whole groomsmen thing.
You've watched 27 dresses religiously and studied Made of Honor like a quarterback preparing for the big game, but you are still lost somewhere between bachelor party and wedding speech. Never fear, the Perfect Tux is here. Being a groomsman is definitely no easy task so to help you get started, here are seven tips to help you get it right (and nail it!) even if it’s just your first time
The Bachelor Party is a team sport
While the best man is responsible for the bachelor party, don’t automatically assume that he’s able to handle everything all on his own. Planning a bachelor party is a huge and stressful endeavor, and since you’ll be partaking in both the bachelor party and post bachelor party festivities, you have an obligation and a duty to lend a hand in its planning. Always take into account the interests of the groom when planning out the bachelor party – not everybody wants a big Vegas blowout bash, respect his wishes (even if that’s not something you personally wouldn't choose). If his wishes are a little more costly than you or the other groomsmen can afford, there is nothing wrong with asking the groom to pitch in.
Anticipate the Law of Murphy
This rule should really apply to all duties as a groomsmen. DO NOT wait until the last minute to get measured (trust me – getting measured is never as quick or as painless as you think), or to start writing your speech. At some point in time you know you'll have to write and read a toast at the wedding celebrations - so anticipate what you're going to say now. Trust us, nothing feels worse than whipping up a speech in a the flurry of the moment concerned more with getting something down on paper than speaking from the heart. If you're not sure what should fall under your groomsmens' to-do list, ask your groom when he asks you to take on the role of a groomsmen, it is better to err on the side of being prepared than for the big day to arrive and to be left wanting.
Doom and Gloom is not inspiring for the wedding
Don't be that guy. And we ALL know who that guy is...he's the one constantly making barbs, quips, jokes, and generally "funny" comments that infer that the groom’s life is now somehow “over” because he’s getting married. This is not helpful to the groom, or respectful of the bride, and in many cases it can add an unneeded element of stress to the day. Even if your motto is the "forever bachelor or bachelorette", or if your marriage is a misery worthy of a James Caan' cameo, please, keep it to yourself. Remember, this day is not about you, it is about supporting someone else and being able to share in their special moment. Revel in that privilege.
Be a Helper and an All you Can Do'er
Offer the prospective bride and groom your help. I know it may seem like a simple gesture, but it is one that can be easily overlooked during all the busy preparations. The bride and groom will not only be grateful for all of your help and support but excited to hear feedback from a fresh voice. Odds are, they probably won’t call you up for every little task, so I think the odds of being roped into endless duties is minor. But you should be willing and ready to say “yes” when the opportunity arises.
The Singular Groomsmen is a Part of the Whole
Sure, a wedding is basically a huge awesome party where you get dressed up and there’s usually an open bar with free food. However, if you’re the groomsmen, that means you’re sharing the majority of that spotlight with the bride and groom. Everyone at the wedding knows who you are and who you represent. You should absolutely let loose and have fun, dance the night away, and maybe even be the one who kicks off the Electric Slide. However, you should err on the side of being more conservative than less before getting too out of hand. Don't be that guy asking what happened the next day as everyone gives you a slew of sheepish looks. Get out there and soak in the moment just make sure you don't lose your head or your pants in the process.
Stick the Landing with the Speech
Out of all your nuptial tasks, this probably is the most terrifying, and the one that people perpetually put off for as long as possible. Never the less, you need to stiffen that upper lip and brush off that public speaking hat because the groom is counting on you to give a hilarious, tear-jerking, and simply remarkable groomsman speech. Start by preparing your speech as early as possible. Write a draft, rewrite, then practice and re-write again if you have too, then repeat the process until you’re confident that you can stick the landing. Eloquence is not one of the only pre-requisites for a perfect speech; but, the time and effort in writing crafting one is something that will be appreciated.
Wedding Crashers was just a movie... not an Autobiography
Was it a funny movie? Yes, but trust us — in real life Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson would be some of the worst people imaginable at a wedding. Everybody has those stories about the guy who tried to pick on every single, newly single, and not so single woman at the wedding. Repeat after us: Wedding Crashers was just a movie. Wedding Crashers was just a movie.
With these seven steps you should feel both confident and ready to take on the groomsmen duties for your friend. Bring on the champagne and Hors d'oeuvre because the groomsmen are in the house.